Archives for posts with tag: Tasmania

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Yesterday my Grandmother died: she was 93. Up until a few months ago, she was still living at home, and fiercely independent. Even the day before she died, she was still getting up, dressing herself and talking to people. She was the kind of person who believed in doing things well, and fighting any battles that needed to be fought with characteristic verve, determination and style.

As a young Catholic mother in New Zealand, my Grandmother raised six children, before moving to the island of Tasmania with her husband. My Grandfather built a house for his family in the industrial town of Burnie, and continued to chase his public service career, eventually becoming head of his department. A passionate rugby player, my Grandmother used to joke that if he’d known Tasmania didn’t have a rugby union team, he would never have moved there. After a cruel illness, he died early; my Grandmother’s bravery during this time was phenomenal.

My Grandmother was a strong supporter of the Arts, in all their forms. She painted and wrote poetry, and was always amazingly perceptive in her critiques of both creative works and people. In her early life, she taught art at Fahan School, a private girls college. She later managed the rare feat of turning her passion for creativity into a commercially viable concern.

With her sons Charlie and Mark, and husband Bernard, my Grandmother started Hobart’s first commercial gallery. (Or at least I’m fairly certain it was the first, but I’m happy to be corrected on this point). Salamanca Place Art Gallery was initially located in an old sandstone warehouse, on the corner of Salamanca Place and Wooby’s Lane, in a sprawling strip of buildings that once serviced Hobart’s notorious docks. The Gallery survived a couple of recessions, and at various times showed works by artists such as Tim Olsen and Brett Whiteley. Charlie eventually sold it to Dick Bett, who first moved his premises up the road, and re-named the business Dick Bett Gallery, and later to a shop front in North Hobart, where it traded as Bett Gallery. When Dick passed away, his children inherited the business, and it continues to trade as a respected contemporary art space.

I find it difficult to express the profound impact she had on both myself and her other grandchildren (Julien, Duncan, Rachel, Corinne, Natalie and Bernard). I remember having a conversation with my Grandmother, I must have been about twelve, when we discussed London’s famous art schools. She told me about the Royal Academy’s raised tiers in their life drawing room, and also about the Royal College. I vaguely recall asking her the difference between the two institutions, and she said something about the interesting painters, such as David Hockney, who had trained at the RCA. At that moment, I decided that I’d study at the RCA, which is something I eventually did.

In many families, working as an artist is actively discouraged. A Chinese friend once told me that she became an accountant because her parents told her that being an artist was “the way of the pauper”. I suspect that the same message is delivered across cultural boundaries everywhere. I rarely doubted that creativity was a vocation, and a worthwhile pursuit, and something that ranked high above most other professions, in that it spoke to the human spirit. In my family, my mother is a former State Gallery curator, and now paints and pots; my aunty established a feminist bookshop in the 1970s, taught English for many years, and now makes handmade books; my cousin Julien is a professional musician and talented writer; while my cousin Corinne sews like a dream and runs a creative business. Various other family members paint, garden, cook, curate, write, play, paint and build. I mention this because it is unusual for so many people in a family to act creatively, and this is largely due to my Grandmother’s influence.

When I was a young woman, living in London, my Grandmother acted as my psychic anchor. Life in a large city can be a lonely, expensive and disconnecting experience. During this time, I often wrote her letters, and when she was dying, discovered that she had saved them all. My mother gave me a large manila envelope with ‘Helen’ written on the front, and inside were these records of my former self. For some reason, I found the fact that she had kept them incredibly moving.

Grief is a strange emotion. For years now, whenever I visited Tasmania, at the end of each holiday I would say goodbye to my Grandmother. Each time I would think to myself ‘this is the last time I will see her’, and I took a mental snapshot of her face. In my memory is a perfect record of these final moments, lined up like photographs in an album. I kept on applying for artist residencies in Tasmania, hoping to spend some of her final years in the State, but for some reason, though my career functioned well elsewhere, I could never find much opportunity in my own State. I admit to a lingering grudge.

The last time I said goodbye, it really was the last time. The doctors gave her a blood tranfusion, which kept her alive for about a month, and allowed her family and friends to share some precious time before she passed. On our last day in Tasmania, Sophie and I spent the morning in her hospital room. We were there with my cousin Rachel, aunty Pam and my mother. I wheeled Sophie, an energetic five year old, around on my Grandmother’s mobility device and we talked and laughed. When we left, I turned around in the corridor, and blew my Grandmother a kiss. She blew one back, and I have another photograph in my mind of this moment. It’s something I will always treasure. 

R.I.P. Marjorie Leonora Hill (nee Gregory)

Strange Tales, my solo exhibition at Despard Gallery is coming up on the 10th May. It’s a weird blend of painting and literary references, with fairy tale and Tasmanian Gothic iconography, peculiar narratives, unsettling characters and haunting landscapes.

Any creative act is a little like a conjuring trick, you’re never entirely sure if it’s going to come off, and I’m probably too close to this body of work to see it clearly. However I can say that I’ve loved making this work, it’s been a blast and I’m really looking forward to the show. Oddly enough, these paintings are saturated with Tasmanian references: I find myself pawing over photographs of the island’s rugged coastline, early Colonial art, peculiar wildlife, literature, local Museum collections.

I’m also extremely pleased to announce that Danielle Wood, winner of the Australian/Vogel Literary Prize, will be opening the show. If you’re in Tasmania hopefully I’ll see you at the opening: 6pm Thursday 10th May. After the show I’m planning to take a month off and spend part of it traveling around the island. The aim is to visit and document all the lighthouses: can’t wait!

For those of you have been following the progress of my latest painting, Tiger Bride, you’ll be relieved to hear that the damned thing is nearly finished. Today was spent fiddling with minor details such as a the rose petal shower (the petals themselves, up close, look a bit like autopsy tissue samples), the girl’s hands and the tiger’s peculiar harness. I also painted the first layer of the bride’s veil, trying to use the translucent layer of paint to ‘free up’ some of the rather stiff brushwork that characterises the rest of the image.

After fiddling with the painting for most of the morning, I began work on another three canvases, all more or less the same size as Tiger, about 4 foot or 5 foot squarish. One is a funny image of a couple of Victorian looking children cuddling a dodo in a snowstorm (just can’t get enough of those extinct species!) Then there’s a seascape with two girls on a beach, one reaching her arms up to push an animal mask off her face. And the final image is a recurring obsession, a lot like Grant Wood’s famous American Gothic, of two figures standing outside an old church. I’ve painted this latter image so many times that today, when I was drawing it up on the canvas, it literally felt like I was tracing the image.

The process of painting extinct species is oddly unsettling. First of all I trawled through old photographs, and representations, of thylacines to try and work out what the Tasmanian Tiger really looked like. As I mentioned in a previous post, the discovery of their ‘stiff, unwaggable tail’ was strangely exciting, as was an old memoir written by an Englishwoman living on the island during the colonial era. It was moving experience to read, though described in dismissive terms, about the sight of a female Tiger hunting with her pups, nose to the ground as she tracked  prey. “A pretty picture” noted the writer with a sniff, unaware that she was documenting a dying breed.

Similarly the Dodo representations tell you as much about the human artist as they do about the animal. Some dodo images are butterball fat, with enviably chunky drumsticks and squat little legs. These images scream “I am food: eat me!” to the viewer. One look at chubby birdy and you can tell in a flash why they went extinct. They’re the Colonel Sanders icons of the Age of Discovery. Hmmnnn…. that advertising jingle springs to mind, “I feel like Dodo tonight, like Dodo tonight”.

Other images show a more graceful elongated duck. One memorable etching depicts a stretched duck-like bird with legs firmly anchored under its bottom, making it unlikely that the bird could ever walk, let alone run away from potential predators. Dodos are variously imagined as deformed pelicans, bulked up macaws or as an exotic version of the Christmas turkey.

 

 

 

 

Day two and three in the studio (not consecutive) involve more layers of acrylic paint and fiddling with the drawing…

It’s about this stage that I started missing oil paint, its sticky richness and intensity of colour. The acylic is fine for the underpainting, helps seal the canvas and means that you’re not waiting around for ages until it dries. It’s nice to handle, non toxic, ideal for mucking around with image and composition, but it just doesn’t have that…. thing.

I think it’s about this point that I started using oil paint over the top of the dry acrylic underpainting.

Me!

Reference material: the poor, doomed thylacines (Tasmanian Tiger).

What the painting looked like at the end of day three.

Came into the studio on day four and decided that I was creating major compositional, not to mention aesthetic, problems for myself. The mountain range behind the figures was originally planned to open up, on the right, into a wide bowl shaped valley. This would have given the painting some depth, a sense of space. However with the mountain rapidly turning into a one dimensional granite escarpment, and the low stone wall acting as another visual barrier, the whole thing was getting visually claustrophic. I dragged out some of my holiday snaps from Tasmania and decided to repaint the background using an actual mountain view as reference.

Nothing beats the real

The first stage involved repainting the sky with pale greys.

The next phase involved working out the tonal gradations and colours of the mountain ranges in the background. Using various mixes of warm grey at this point, mixed with some burnt umber, a bit of paynes grey, some black, titanium white, yellow, chromium green oxide and a couple of miscellaneous tubes of grey paint that my Aunty Pam gave me.

The final stage of day four, which was a short day in the studio. It still looks like a mess, but I’m much happier with the composition. Next step is to work on the rock wall in the foreground, using the following image as reference (it’s outside a country church in Tasmania).

More reference material…

After this I’ll go hunting for figure reference material for the children (probably involves photographing Sophie and one of her mates) and costume reference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.uq.edu.au/news/ index.html?article=18844

I’ve been thinking a lot about sustainability lately. The other day I left the car at home and caught the train into town with Sophie to do some shopping. For a toddler, a train is both exciting and frightening; her intense emotional reaction to an everyday experience changed it for me too. A bit like the scene in Rain Man, when the autistic Hoffman notes to the blinkered, urbane Cruise that the train is ‘shiny’. Cruise had not noticed, and he stops for a moment to consider, viewing the train with interest for the first time; it’s a small vignette of character transformation that tells you much about his changed inner life.

I suspect this is going to be a boring story, when people talk about their kids it often is, but bear with me. We arrive in town, walk to a second hand store where Sophie gets ‘new’ jeans and a nice pink top. Then head to the library to find that Sophie’s favourite Mr Chicken Goes to Paris book has been borrowed by another reader. We console ourselves with a Little Princess dvd. Then it’s off to the bank for cash, supermarket and back to Vinnies where I collect a massive iron candelabra that I’d left behind the counter earlier. By this time I’m carrying a heavy bag of shopping, a bag of second hand clothes, a candelabra, and dragging an increasingly fractious toddler by the hand.

'Mr Chicken Goes to Paris' by Leigh Hobbs

We head towards the train station, miss our train by ten minutes, the conductor tells us the next one won’t go for another hour, and bitches at Sophie for walking in front of the yellow line. So we wander off to the nearest park, swing for a while, decamp to a café for milkshakes, and then stagger back to the station with all our stuff. Arriving home, Sophie goes to sleep without a peep and I luxuriate with a peaceful, sleeping child cup of tea. In all, a fairly simple shopping trip has taken about three hours.

When people talk about sustainability, and how it intersects with community, they often don’t articulate the human dimension. One of the reasons that church and community groups in my area have been so keen to embrace sustainability principles is they sense how closely related the two sets of ideas are.

Here’s a diagram of the saving money/reducing resource use/building community relationships trifecta.

It works best with a concrete example: I take a train, saving me money, keeping one more car off the road. We’re walking, so I notice stuff about my town that I don’t normally see because I’m travelling too fast or looking for a place to park. We buy second hand stuff, which also saves me money, while supporting a local charity and reducing the resources used to make new stuff. While we’re in the store, we talk to the lady behind the counter (her daughter in law is about to have a baby, and the lady’s worried because both mother and baby will be Aries. ‘Constantly butting heads?’ I ask. ‘Exactly’ she responds).

Missing the train means that I go and explore the park next to the station, a place I’ve never been before. While Sophie’s happily balancing on the park’s sole concrete lion, I start mentally kicking around ideas about community art projects that would work well in the space. Finally, to fill in time before the train, it’s off to a locally owned café, thus keeping money in my community. Sophie gets a chocolate milkshake, I get to sit on my butt and watch her drink it, it’s a win-win for us both.

What really struck me about the day was that, mundane as it was, how much I enjoyed it. In many ways everything was a hassle, a lot less easy than just jumping in the car and popping into the shops; it’s really not fun to carry heavy bags while trying to keep your grip on a squirmy toddler. It also struck me that because it’s not normally something I would have done (I’d only left the car at home because Sophie’s car seat was unavailable) sustainable living is something that most people need to be pushed into. It makes things slower and more difficult. But I expect it also has the potential to make people happier.

Other than a lingering chest infection, it’s been a good week. The university accepted my proposal for some RTS funding which means that I can go to the Australian Animal Studies Group conference in in July. One of the keynote speakers is Nigel Rothfels, a key thinker in the area of my PhD topic (The human animal: the evolving role(s) of the animal in contemporary art) so I’m looking forward to that.

I flipped into media tart overdrive earlier in the week during a spruiking drive for Caelli Jo Booker and my upcoming exhibition of artists’ books at the John Paynter Gallery, Newcastle, in June. Titled Happily Ever After: alternative destinies in contemporary feminine narrative (see, there, I’m doing it again) the exhibition brings together teams of artists and writers and invites them to re-tell fairy tales in a contemporary manner. We’re really excited because we’ve just confirmed that Tasmanian novelist Danielle Wood, winner of the Australian/Vogel Literary Prize, will be working with illustrator Tony Flowers to create a book. I can’t wait to see it!

David Hampton's 'SS Great Eastern'

For the exhibition, I’ve written a short story that will be illustrated by Newcastle’s David Hampton and made into a book by my Aunty Pam. The story, Whalesong, is based on last year’s Ady Gil incident, where a New Zealand protest vessel and a Japanese whaler collided in Antarctic waters. It’s a kind of homage to Moby Dick, one of my formative texts, a book that still fills me with desire. My story is written in the first person from the whale’s perspective. I’m currently playing with this idea of writing the animal voice, trying to avoid the common slide into sentimentality or romanticism by making my main character a bit obnoxious and a little histrionic.

Another image by David Hampton

An odd coincidence: after I’d emailed the story draft through to David, he responded to say that he’d just finished watching a documentary account of the sinking of the whaling vessel Essex, the true story that inspired Moby Dick. A couple of days later I was in the country village of Wollombi, browsing in a small, second hand store, and picked up a novel with a picture of whale flukes on the cover. It was In the Heart of the Sea, an account of the Essex tragedy by Nathaniel Philbrick. I brought it because it had a pretty cover and a positive blurb by Annie Proulx, author of The Shipping News, on the back.

(A brief digression:  if you’re up that way, Café Wollombi does really nice food. Imagine the worst roast vegetable focaccia you’ve ever had: a few miserable pieces of eggplant, a scrape of rancid pesto, bread as stiff as stale cardboard, an anemically thin slice of grilled fetta, the alleged vegetables as brown and slimy as compost. You probably paid $7.50 for the thing, $10 at the airport, and when it was plonked down in front of you, the person rushed off in case you yelled at them. Later, you hear them yelling at the chef. Add bad air conditioning, a greasy napkin, plastic wrap and the sound of traffic and you’ve got your average vegie focaccia. As a vegetarian, I’ve chomped my way through many such travesties.

In Wollombi, you sit out on wooden verandah, the sun on your back, watching birds scoot past and a line of ants tackling the Everest of your chair leg. A trendy, funny girl with knee socks takes your order and returns with food in an admirably short time. Big fat foccacia, stuffed with roast vegetables and annoited with pesto so fresh that it hasn’t had time to oxidise. Why would you go anywhere else?)

Although I’m only a bit of the way through, In the Heart of the Sea is proving to be a fascinating read. Philbrick talks about the island of Nantucket: the way the society came to embrace Quakerism, what this meant to the island’s culture, economy and financial management. There’s a few scurrilous historical anecdotes about the Nantucket women, rumoured to be addicted to a morning dose of opium and marital aids, ‘he’s at home’ being the polite euphamism for the plaster cast dildos of the era. As the whaling industry expanded across the globe, Nantucket husbands were often away at sea for years, home for a few months, then gone again.

'Lighthouse' by David Hampton

It’s interesting to speculate about the social pressure, the sheer claustrophobia, of being left alone on an island in a close-knit society of Quaker women. The knowledge that, if rendered desperate by your cold lump of plaster, you f***ed another person, the news of it would be all over the village by morning, even before your sheets had time to dry. An ensuing trial of ostracism, bitter judgement and fraught female relationships. It’s the dark side of community, the thing that we were all running from when we left our villages and moved to the anonymous cities. And it’s probably one of the reasons why people like the connectedness that sustainability implies, but also shy away from it.

Jackman and McRoss: home of a damned fine cake (image source http://media.lonelyplanet.com)

A few months ago, my Aunty Pam, cousin Jules and I were sitting around talking. It was a cold Tasmanian night, we’d just eaten some very fine cake (Jules had brought it for his Mum) and were curled up in leather chairs, drinking hot cups of tea. Jules and I grew up in Hobart, Aunty Pam was born in New Zealand but the family moved to Tasmania when she was a little girl. They settled first in the northern industrial town of Burnie and then moved south to Hobart. I was blithering on about how I hadn’t decided where I wanted to bring Sophie up, the pros and cons of an urban existence versus a rural one, educational opportunities in different areas, my experience of growing up on an isolated island like Tasmania, and on and on. ‘Well, what do you want?’ asked Pam patiently. I thought about it for a minute and then replied: ‘what I want, doesn’t exist. I want to live in a village full of cultured, sophisticated and intelligent people… who mind their own business!’ We all howled with laughter.



December/January 2011 edition of The Monthly

People are always suggesting that you read this or that, some great book or article, and mostly you don’t. In my case it’s not laziness, ill will or a lack of faith in their judgement, more a sense that the right books come to you when you’re ready for them, and what may be deeply fascinating to one reader is as “interesting as a bucket full of warm spit” (to borrow a description of the US Vice Presidency role) to another. So when a writer friend said that I should read a profile of Tasmanian art collector David Walsh in The Monthly, describing it as very well written, I responded enthusiastically with no intention of actually doing so.

About a week later I was standing at Central Station waiting for a train to the airport. Looking at the magazine covers on offer at the nearby newsstand, I saw a copy of The Monthly with a copy of Max Dupain’s Sunbaker on the cover. http://www.themonthly.com.au/

Now I have a particular interest in this image, having recently suffered through a pile of undergraduate essays on the topic of the expression of Australian national identity in the visual arts, so I was drawn to it. Handed over my $9.95 and ended up enjoying the magazine, and the profile, enormously. Great selection of diary entries by Helen Garner; nifty article on swimming by Kate Jennings; and an album review by Chistos Tsiolkas of the Gaza Strips that sent me scurrying into the nearest Sanity record store, only to be told by the attendant, after checking his computer, that he had a listing for the Gaza Strippers, and was that what I was after?

MONA: source The Australian newspaper

MONA, the museum of old and new art, David Walsh’s brainchild, recently opened in Hobart, so I was curious about him and his collection. One of his comments caused me a fair bit of angst. It was words to the effect that when he questions artists about their work, quite often they don’t seem to know what they’re actually doing, or don’t have a strong rationale for why they do what they do. Yup, after years of fluffing answers to these kind of questions, I knew exactly what he was talking about. Since then I’ve been mulling over how to describe what I do, why I do it, and what keeps me doing it. Oh, I forgot to mention, Walsh also noted that artists seem to be driven by the twin poles of sex or death: artistic peacocking behaviour for procreation purposes, or seeking immortality via the creation of cultural artefacts. Honestly, I’d have to stick myself in the first category, purely on the basis that sex appears to be much more fun than death.

To answer questions about why I continue to like making art, it makes sense to look back at where and when the behaviour originated. Very early (still in nappies and before my parents’ marriage busted up) I remember pulling a red geranium apart and being absolutely fascinated by the colour. I thought it was incredible that the more I ripped the flower up, the more red there was. At kindergarten, I fell in love with a Pakistaani carer, and used to dash off bird drawings just for the intense pleasure of his praise. After kindergarten, I painted a black sheep from the Royal Hobart Show with a blue ribbon around its neck, standing on yellow straw. I remember agonising over how to paint the eye, given that I had already used the darkest colour in my palette for the fleece. (In the end I gave the eye a brown outline and coloured it black too). About the same time, Mum and I were visiting one of her friends, and I was deeply envious of one of their kid’s paintings stuck on the fridge. It was a painting of a rainbow and all the colours had bled into each other: I wasn’t sure how I could get paint to do this (nothing more complex than wet on wet paint application).  So very early on I was noticing colour and paintings and thinking about how to make them, how to match the picture in my mind with what came out on the paper.

The next generation of Royal Hobart Show sheep: photo ozjimbob @ flickr.com

My grandparents both painted and ran a commercial art gallery, and my Mum had been a curator at a State Art Gallery, so I was lucky to have been exposed to lots of interesting imagery. Another key early influence was MP, the writer I mentioned earlier, who suggested I read the David Walsh piece. In the 70s she used to import Indian miniature paintings and artefacts so I grew up looking at images of half human/animal gods with anti-naturalistic colour, non western perspective, pattern used to describe pictorial depth and animate figures and clothing. These had a huge impact, though I didn’t realise it at the time, something that remains with me to this day.

As I got older, I became attuned to the idea that art could be used as a wild zone where you could express forbidden feelings, thoughts and desires. It was a visual code that only you could crack, a powerful but quiet form of protest, creation as a transcendent space. I began to use animal imagery as a signifier for human experience, partly because I like animals and their forms, and partly to make the code more oblique. The animals would become stand-ins for human actors and actions. I’ve mentioned early that I didn’t like growing up in Hobart, always felt really out of place, couldn’t wait to leave. I experienced the place as claustrophobic, it gave me a feeling of being locked in a room in which the air is slowly being sucked out. For a long time, and this is really juvenile, my greatest fear was becoming a paraplegiac, unable to speak, and being stuck in a hospital bed with a view of Hobart City.

Indian miniature painting

Sometimes, of course, art was a handy social tool. Kids who can draw are always useful or entertaining for other kids, and so it was with me too. I remember drawing a friend in primary school, the drawing turned out well (her face was turned ¾ away from me and the light was hitting her cheekbone), and having a queue of little girls wanting me to draw them too. I also remember becoming aware of human beauty at this age. I remember watching a boy and a girl run around the oval like wild animals, the curve of a friend’s spine as she got dressed after gym.

Over the years I have returned again and again to the same cycle of images, mostly based around interactions between humans and animals, or combinations of human and animal forms. There are often two girls, I call them the fishwives, standing side by side near the ocean. My cousin Rachel were, and are, as different as two people can be, but because we grew up together she is like my sister, the other to which I define myself. This is a perennial issue, but parents seem to be stricter on their girls than their boys, and keep them closer to home. I paint the two girls frozen in immobility, wearing their best dresses, waiting for a metaphorical ship (life, action, whatever) that may or may not arrive.

Another recurring images, again two figures, standing outside an old fashioned squat colonial church, shades of American Gothic. Not sure entirely what this one is about, but I paint it when I’m in love, and when I’m out of love, the expressions of the couple changing each time. It’s an image that only works when the emotional conditions are right, I’ve tried painting a replica of one that I sold and it didn’t work. Another image that I like, but am yet to paint in a way that I am satisfied with, a cat with a woman’s head, lactating milk on the floor of a red, velvet tent, with little ships sailing in the milk. Other recurring images: a tree draped with human bodies and animals; a man standing in a boat, his arms outstretched; human and animal heads on striped poles, like cocktail swizzle sticks or channel markers; a ship in a bottle experiencing a violent squall.

So the central themes, I guess, are claustrophobia; dislocation; the pressure between inner and outer selves, social expectation; the female condition; sensuality versus morality; freedom versus confinement; stasis against adventure. A pressure valve of sorts. And all bound up in the weird psychic resonance of the Tasmanian landscape, with its beauty, suppression of history, violent past and present, and disconnected, bottom of the world sense of place. I’m always trying to balance the sweetness and horror of the island: I suppose all places are, to some extent, like this, but I’ve always experienced Tasmania more intensely than most places I’ve been.

It would be tempting at this moment to conclude ‘well, it’s just therapy, innit?’ And in many ways, I can reluctantly admit that it’s true: art does bring me psychic calm, I get shitty when I’m not painting, I don’t feel like I’m properly alive. But although art does have a therapeutic role, aligning my inner and outer selves, this is not why I continue painting and exhibiting. I am driven to try and create one true image, one image where everything works and nothing can be changed, something that speaks to the viewer in a clear voice. I know that this is far from being a novel idea, but I’ve always felt that the universal is reached via the personal, and that my obligation is to be an honest conduit of what I feel and experience. My main job at the moment is to nail the techniques so I create the best possible version of the images in my imagination. In a strange sort of way, I feel like I was born with all the images I ever wanted to paint, and that the only thing that I need to continue to work on is how to do it.

Well, I’m afraid that’s my best answer to the question of why I make art and what I’m trying to do. Hopefully I won’t run into David Walsh at a dinner party anytime soon.

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Two bits of trivia about sex: late one night, afterwards, I had this intense visualisation of a blue diamond shape embedded in the flesh near my navel. Days later, and this peculiar image remained. I tried googling the symbolism of the blue diamond shape, but apart from finding out that natural blue diamonds are extremely expensive and rare, and that a blue diamond tattoo is used by elite security forces, nothing much of consequence.

Toying with the idea of painting myself blue and renting myself out as a tantric sex instructor for a laugh. Burn some dodgy incence, look ethereal and smug, talk about chakras, dogmas and karmas. Beautiful. Read a few books on the subject beforehand and hey presto! The perfect scam. The idea reminds me of a funny film about a New Zealand travel writer who never actually visited the places he wrote about or recommended. People used to abuse him in the street: ‘I took my girlfriend there on our honeymoon!’

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Sophie needed new shoes so Aaron and I took her shopping. David Jones in Newcastle is closing down, the end of an era, and lots of things are on sale. She got a practical pair of brown Velcro sandals, a white pair of trainers and a sparkly pair of white sandals for when she’s a bit bigger. Her Dad wasn’t so keen on the sparkly sandals, but she loved them so, holding them as if they were priceless treasure.